Foreword INDIES Book of the Year Award Finalist in the nonfiction humor category.

Victoria Carlisle, a British expat living in Oakland, California, is a zaftig housewife and unapologetically relaxed parent. More than a decade ago, Carlisle was psychiatrically committed six times after the birth of her third child (They had to let her out eventually). And in 2020, she and her family—one husband, two guinea pigs, and three kids—endured one of the longest COVID school shutdowns in America (They had to allow the children back at some point). 

With Carlisle’s irreverent humor, I Love You All, Please Leave is a provocative essay collection that revels in the hilarity of small moments during the coronavirus pandemic. Carlisle recounts her spectacular failures in mothering during lockdown—from an inability to “Zoom School” (What the fuck was that all about?) to including a Sexy Lady Santa outfit among Amazon purchases of hand sanitizer and cereal (“Mummy, you’ll look like a stripper!”). 

Both COVID and psychiatric lockdowns shut Carlisle up in little rooms and left her with a mind like a trapped bird fluttering behind a window. Her long journey from insanity to health traversed the well-trodden Berkeley landscape of alternative medicine—with a pit stop at electromagnetic headbands and keto diets—eventually landing at lithium and self-acceptance.